A RESOLVE

4 minute read

I have not written in over a year. Well, I have not blogged in over a year, but I have definitely written. In my big pink journal filled with letters to God, on the OneNote App on my laptop, on the notes app on my phone. Lol, I have definitely written quite a lot. And like a lot of other mornings, I was about to write in that big pink journal again, when I thought I could share my thoughts with you. I used to do that a lot, but life happened, and I ran into a different variation of a shell. But that might be a story for another day. I am not quite sure yet.

Also read The love relationship you truly desire

I usually would get up just a few minutes past 5 am to spend some time praying before family prayer time on T30 at 6am, and the same thing happened this morning. As I was talking to God, I felt so much peace, I was certain I wanted to always have that. Shortly after that I began to talk to God about the things that concern me. I was recounting His faithfulness and I could not help but see how deliberate He is with me. After T30 though, my morning started with an encounter I imagine to be less than desirable and it got me thinking about 'strong women'. Lol. 'Strong' is in quotes because usually, when that word is used to describe a woman, it would mean she is going through a whole lot that she shouldn't have to go through, and somehow she is still standing. And yes, I am referring to 'love and marriage'.

Strength and honour are her clothing, she shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 31:25

I saw a quote that says 'Strong women wear their pain like they do stilettos. No matter how much it hurts, all you see is the beauty of it'. Whew! This culture of suffering and smiling? No ma'am. I have no interest in wearing pain. Thank you very much. I do have a desire to share my life with someone though. I do. I think it is incredibly beautiful to love and be loved in a wholesome manner, but in all truth, I am in no rush. That desire to share my life does not in anyway override my desire for peace and happiness. I say happiness because I realize that I possess, and I have experienced true joy that cannot be taken away in Christ, however, certain things and events still have the capacity to make me sad, sometimes. 

I have heard about and seen so many 'strong' women, and while I admire that strength and see so many lessons to be learned, I have no interest in identifying with such strength. I am not going to be in a difficult place relationally, imagining all the possibilities, and encouraging myself to 'carry my cross'. No. Because just as I know of these 'strong' women, I also know and have seen wholesome Godly homes, where the word 'strong' is not used as a cover up for pain and constant heartbreak, and the love that I will share, will contribute to that category of love and relationships.

Image from Pinterest

… be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus

II Timothy 2:1

I will prioritize peace. It may never measure up to the peace I feel when I sit with God in the early hours of the morning, but I will prioritize peace. On those difficult days, you know the days I speak of, those ones when you really just want your own human, LOL, I will remind myself that desperation is how you lose discernment, and losing discernment is how you make bad decisions. 

Read also Ten things to do when you are single and feel lonely

So, why did I decide to write here instead this morning? If you are reading this and you feel any sort of pressure, I want you to pause, and picture your life a couple of years from now, then ask yourself, 'will the pressure I feel now still matter if I am in a less than desirable place 10, 15 or 1 year from now?'

I would leave you with some helpful resources, and I pray that you see you as the person a price has been paid for. Jesus wants you to have peace, always remember that.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27


Have you read this? The blessing I call 'relationships'

As I always used to do, I'd sign off with this, 'Till next time, stay thriving and trusting'

AML, Dolapo Daara.


Helpful resources as promised:

Ayope TV on YT, but you can start with this video

The Oludapos on YT

Find sermons that will change your life here

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