HELP! I’M SINGLE (and feel lonely) - Ten things to do when you are single and feel lonely

3 minutes read

We’ve all been there at some point. You are not dating anyone, and on some days you are a strong independent person that doesn’t need anybody. On other days, well, let’s just blame it on that Instagram post or the romantic movie you saw. You are still a strong independent person. But between you and I, some days are hard and you want to be able to call someone and share the tiny unimportant details with them and have them laugh at your not very funny jokes (see how I didn’t say ‘boring’, more positivity, less negativity... LOL)




And those days are normal. If that’s it, then you’re good. You’re perfectly normal. We were made to desire intimacy, so it’s okay that you desire a relationship of your own at times.


Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life

- Proverbs 13:12


If you have more lonely days than days when you’re assured and fine, I have been there too. If you are in a relationship, keep reading, there might be something here for you. 


Here are 10 things to do when you feel single... and lonely.


  1. If you didn’t already guess the first one right, you’ve not known me very long. Spend more time with God. Yes, I mean in your prayer time, but not just that. Binge listen to sermons (Yup, I said it. You’d be surprised how fun that can be, try Podcasts, I’d leave links to some recommendations at the end of this post). Build your commitment to serving at church  (That would help you stay committed even when you get in a relationship)
  2. Spend time with family. For some, family is exactly what you’re trying to get away from, LOL. But if you have family that you’re far away from and you haven’t seen in a while, well, go spend time with them! I’m a family person, so...
  3. Schedule dates with your friends. Yup, your girlfriends, your ‘bros’, your friends of the opposite gender (I would tread lightly with this one, cause remember, you feel lonely, you don’t want to project that unto them and begin to see sparks where there are none)
  4. Get yourself a good comedy series, and become a part of the family (LOL) Does anyone else speak of characters in a series like they’ve known them forever?
  5. Take a course online (There are lots of courses online that offer both paid and unpaid tracks, pick your choice) I’d advice it’s a course in something you’re really interested in. We want to avoid you feeling like you’re punishing yourself for being single. When it’s something you love and are interested in, the hours fly by, trust me.
  6. Go to see a movie. I say movie because it’s the first thing that comes to mind, and the reason is, I love going to see movies. But the general idea is to take yourself out. See how you actually interact in public when you’re all by yourself.
  7. Download the TED App. (LOL, if you’re into Ted Talks, that is)
  8. Sign up for a master class. If there’s anything we learned from 2020, it’s that we can live effectively online, even in Nigeria. So find a virtual masterclass if you don’t have time for a physical one, and learn something new from an expert! 
  9. Pick up a hobby, or develop your hobby. You enjoy drawing, writing, volunteering, singing, dancing? Get into it.
  10. Read a Novel! Oh my God, if you like fiction, pick up a series and immerse yourself in it. If you would prefer non fiction, there are a lot of Christian literature that would leave you hungry for God and fellowship. So READ! Hard copy, soft copy, just read.
  11. DON’T CALL YOUR EX. Or the person you just started crushing on. Seriously, just don’t. They don’t need checking up on. They are doing just fine. I promise (or not). I know this was supposed to be a list of things to do, but, this is just as important.


While you would very much rather be boo’ed up, you already know to wait and trust God’s timing, so on the days when the wait gets difficult, I hope some of the things on this list are helpful to you.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6


Here’s some helpful links as promised:

CHRISTIAN PODCASTS: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ng/podcast/transformation-church/id1348831124


https://podcasts.apple.com/ng/podcast/celebration-church-intl/id1482679477


https://podcasts.apple.com/ng/podcast/elevation-with-steven-furtick/id216015753


https://podcasts.apple.com/ng/podcast/setapartgirl/id1187669968


CHRISTIAN LITERATURE:

Christian E-Library


CHRISTIAN YOUTUBE:

Apply God’s word.com

Grace for Purpose

The Kesenas


If you find this helpful, please share with a friend, or two.


Till next time, stay thriving and trusting!

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