Interview - The Wait: Why am I waiting?
Why am I waiting? And what exactly am I waiting for? These are the questions that come to mind when I think of 'The Wait'. I have a desire to be married someday. Actually, saying it this way, is putting it lightly. But I can't help but wonder, why am I waiting? And if indeed I am waiting, what makes up my season of waiting? I have a thought, and I'd share with you in a moment, but first, read through the chat I had with a few people in different seasons of life.
The question put to them is 'What does The Wait/Waiting mean to you in the context of dating/romantic relationships'. I had so much fun putting this interview together. A lot of the responses I got were far removed from what I had in mind, Lol, but I did gain new perspective, and for that I am grateful. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.
MICHAEL, MALE, SINGLE.
Waiting is a moment of learning, unlearning and relearning. It is a time to discover strength, and self. It is a time to observe. We wait by staying focused, not allowing any form of distraction, and looking unto Jesus.
I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.
ANNIE UDOKANG, FEMALE, SINGLE
I was having a conversation with a friend, and she complained on why she had to breakup with her ex. She was being persuaded to go intimate and she couldn't think of it. Into the conversation with her, she said something that struck me, she said she started to agree with the misconception that relationships don't work without sex. Many Christians today are led by this worldly misconceptions, and that's because they have idolized the person they are in relationships with. As Christians, we go into the dating season for the purpose of leading to marriage. Also, if as a Christian, you want to be in a godly relationship, boundaries must be set. These boundaries are for the purpose of limiting every form of temptations. Sex is a wonderful thing designed from God to His children, and that's the reason it must be done in a Godly way.
As Christians the dating season should be seen as a waiting season which will lead to the final heavenly ordained consummation, which is the marriage.
Q: What's your attitude to waiting in the season of singleness?
A: Waiting in singleness is a time we focus all our attention and service to God. Singleness is a gift that God gives everyone, at least temporarily. For some, the gift of singleness is permanent. The season of being single is most assuredly the time Christians should take their relationship with God to the next level. In our season of singleness, we don't have anything to worry or work ourselves about as people in relationships do.
PRECIOUS, MALE, SINGLE.
I cannot confidently give that answer, because I've not actually been doing that to be honest. However, I believe it means to just rest in God, and be at peace in your singleness, till you are in that 'place' where you just know. You know it's time. And you build something with someone that would last. I actually didn't think about the sex part, that is involved too. I took for granted that we are all tryna' honour God with our bodies. Lol. It's not a walk in the park, but others have done it. And so can we. Sex doesn't have to rule over us.
Q: Are you actively doing anything to get to that place of rest?
A: First of all, I think we are already at rest in Christ. It's just our consciousness that needs to catch up with that reality. I think the more we give ourselves towards prayer and the knowledge of the Word, the more our priorities align with God's purpose for us. I'm more interested in that, than I am in sex and romantic activities; even though my desires have a way of betraying my convictions sometimes, it doesn't stand the test of time.
It's in the consistency we can know our true desires.
OREOLUWA, MALE, IN A RELATIONSHIP
First, I believe sex is a good thing. A wonderful thing made by God and shouldn't be seen as an abomination. So basically, it's just like water or fire; quite pleasing and necessary for all our daily needs, to cook, to drink, to do everything. BUT, these things at the wrong timing and place can be disastrous (Flood, Fire outbreak, etc.,). That's where waiting in sex comes in. The right timing, the right person. So while waiting for sex to be as beautiful as it was created, there's a billion other romantic things couples can spend the journey doing.
I think what is most important is two people who love Christ first, understanding the essence and beauty of waiting, coupled with self discipline.
Q: How about 'The Wait' in relation to meeting 'The One'?
A: Oh this, well, I don't have the scripture here with me but I know that the scriptures say 'he who finds a wife, finds a good thing' So why rush, and get a bad thing? I think it's worth the wait.
TITI, FEMALE, ENGAGED
Personally, I think it means staying chaste. Abstaining from extramarital or from all forms of sexual intercourse.
DOLAPO DAARA, FEMALE, SINGLE
I said I'd share my thoughts with you, so here goes. I had to consult the dictionary to better communicate my thoughts to you. To wait, is to 'allow time to go by, especially while staying in one place without doing very much, until someone comes; until something that you are expecting happens or until you can do something'. This does not define my life right now, at all. I'm definitely not 'allowing time go by' or 'not doing very much'. So at the end of the day, here's how I see it, I am not ‘waiting‘ for 'The One' at all. I believe very much in seasons of life, so maybe I am in a season of life that does not require a dating relationship, much less a marital relationship. I am committed to living God's purpose for me through every season of my life, and while I strongly 'love love' and all that a marital relationship represents, I am focused on being in the place God would have me be. Right here. In this season. I am living, learning and thriving.
In relation to abstinence however, that dictionary meaning represents all that 'The Wait' stands for.
My favorite time is when we come together as a community to discuss and help each other grow, and I am eager for our interactive session. Join us here if you’d like to be a part of this discussion.
If you enjoyed reading this, please share this interview with a friend or two.
Till next time, stay thriving and trusting!
If you would love to join a bunch of believers who are walking in God's original design for relationships, click here. I would be delighted to have you join us. I'd very much love to share my experience with you, and connect with you. You can reach me here.
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