THE CHASE - A Christian's perspective

5 minute read

As long as we live in this world, we cannot be a 100% shielded from the goings-on of this world, so always remember that who you are is a function of what you pay the most attention to. As a Christian, everything I do passes through a Jesus filter, and sometimes, some of my actions are unable to get through that filter cause they don’t measure up, so what do I do? I decide to do better, and hope to God that I live up to that decision.

The essence of all of this isn't to tell you how to live your life, or instruct you on what you can and cannot do, it's simply one person curious about how she can ensure that more of her actions adequately get through that Jesus filter, and has decided to bring others along, hopefully we can learn one or 2 things from each other.

So, The Chase. I spoke to a few Believers, and here's what they had to say


What's the place of the guy, if the lady assumes the lead role?

- Inaton

I subscribe to a lady asking me out 100%, not a big deal. As much as the role isn't exactly gender specific as such, I think it's the man's responsibility so to speak, but sometimes, the lady can take the first move and things click. Not a big deal. I'm a subscriber to whatever it is that makes things work properly. Let's go ahead and do it.

- Imaje

There's another angle that would tell you that when a man is ready for a relationship, he doesn't play games. He is direct, straightforward, and straight up tells you what he wants. He is not trying to see where it is going, he has seen and all he wants to know is if you're with him  or not.

- Ella

We don't have to stick to a way of doing things simply because 'this is the old time religion' I think Christianity is far beyond that.

- Imaje

Its funny, but if the guy is not asking, personally, I would ask because I want to know your intentions.

- Ella

It's not a crime to love somebody even before they feel the same way about you, but put yourself together till he says he wants something more. And if he doesn’t, put yourself together and move on. Don't force things.

- Blessing

I really wonder where we got the notion of 'she's cheap' if she says yes at first go! Don't know where that came from, certainly not the scripture, it's a thing of how we interpret things nowadays. If you take time to get your conviction, all well and good. If you're interested in me and I'm interested in you, and we make that intention known at 1st go, ain't nothing withholding us.

- Imaje

The only thing that should keep a lady from answering a guy is if God has not given you the green light. Every other thing is wasting time and energy.

-  Ella


ANTHONY O'NEAL

I had a female friend assert that she sees no issues with initiating a relationship, and I had a guy friend say that 'he'd love it' if a lady asked him out especially if he already liked her. All different perspectives showed me something, there are different kinds of people, and that is okay. There are traditional minded people, and modern type people. I'm traditional all the way. I 100% believe the guy is to initiate the relationship, go down on one knee when the time is right, and take on the leadership role as a family. I like the idea of being 'wooed'. If it's missing, I'd do just fine, but, its what I'd describe as the ideal situation. 

You want to know why? I believe it goes to the core of the traits I desire in a husband. Someone that is willing to lead in love. Not pushy or arrogant. Not laidback or complacent. Someone who understands the role of a husband and father.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

-Ephesians 5:21, 22, 25

As Derrick Jaxn said, men and women do not have to be synonymous in roles to be equal. In seeking a relationship with anybody (male or female) I'd say, check your intentions. Make sure it's from a place that reflects your worth and values. Check your spirit, you're a Christian, what does God have to say about that move?

As far as playing hard to get goes, here's what I have to say. It's exactly what it is, playing. And real women don’t play with a man's heart. Get honest. If you genuinely need time for whatever reason, let him know you need time. And if you are convinced already, I'm with Imaje on this one, ain't nothing withholding us.

Ladies, while you're a Queen and The Price, and every other great thing you are, remember, that is God's son too. And His Father won't let you play unnecessary games with his heart.

I equally learned that while it might appear that guys are more content with situationships, they actually are just not ready. Not ready to settle down in marriage, and by extension, not ready for a defined relationship. I'd say have that conversation with her. Don't be content with just having her around. Discuss the situation with her, discuss future plans, discuss timelines, and move ahead together or move on separately.

In all, I pray you experience the love of Christ in your relational life.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace

-Ephesians 4:2-3

Read Learning love from Love

I’d leave you with this video, hopefully you gain perspective from it. I wish you a Happy Happy New Year UOP Fam! Love you dearly. I look forward to a time when we can sit in a physical space to trade scriptural values and convictions.


Till next time, stay thriving and trusting!

 

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